My ever changing life

Did I tell you earlier about the winds of change? Well it seems they are carrying on ever stronger.
As I told you before, I started working as a Personal assistant for Livihop for a couple of nights per month and it is a most satisfying job. But unfortunately not enough to be able to sustain a family. Even though I have already worked more shifts then initially intended. But two weeks ago I got a phonecall from my dear friend Ronny, asking how my job situation was looking at that moment. I explained it to him of course. Then he told me he had given my telephone number to his boss and she would probably ring to me sometime during the evening. Seems they were a little short on personnel. So, at home I sat and waited and only one hour later I was called by Dala Omsorg's boss and asked if I would be interested in working in home care services for the summer? It sounded interesting and we agreed to meet on the monday after that. One day later I got asked if I could hop in for an extra night shift from sunday to monday as personal assistant. How could I refuse,........... not thinking about the meet on monday.......
But all went right and directly after my night shift I drove off to another office to talk about another job.
Views, Ideas and wishes were exchanged and about 45 minutes later I walked out with a second job.
It struck me right there and then how the odds can change over time. Here I was, after almost four years of looking and applying for  jobs, never getting anything else than just being the cleaninglady, I suddenly had two jobs I didn't even have to apply for but were sort of just handed out to me.
Simply Unbelievable.

Then there are developments at the handicraft side of my life as well. I submitted a few of my creations to a local exhibition where about 15 handicrafters show their work together. The exhibition is organised by our local Hembygdsförening (best translation I can come up with here is a Local Historical/Folklore Society ) at our Hembygdsgården (homestead sort of thing)

fairy mobile

Spring Angel

The opening of the Exhibition was at Midsummer's Eve in combination with the celebration of that exact event. Lot's of people took the opportunity to take a peak and even though I was not present myself,  I did hear that a lot of positive comments were made on my creations. That, of course, made me happy.

But that is not all.  Ron has a co worker, who is very handy when it comes to creating things in leather. She makes the most beautiful horses saddles, but also interiors for old timer cars, purses, belts and all kinds of other things (you can look here if you're interested). She is a member of a crafts collective of nine crafts(wo)men, each with their own speciality. It is called Blå Snigel and they have a little boutique in Falun. Now Jill wants to hop off and was wondering if I might be interested in taking her place. That of course, sounds very promising. Of course she had to talk about it with the other members and to be able to show them what kind of things I create, I send her a couple of pictures.

They were received very well and thus my next move was to visit the boutique and get some answers to my questions about the how everything was functioning, what the costs would be ( running a boutique in downtown Falun is not for free I can guarantee) and so on.
After listening to what Jill told me and thinking it over for a second (didn't need much longer really) I decided I'd go for the trial membership for four months. Just to see if it meets my expectations and if I fit in the group of people that shape this collective. Of course I had to talk to the chairwoman of the collective, so I gave her a call and talked for a while. We agreed  I would start the first of august. For me it means I have a chance to show people what I create. Since I will be standing in the boutique for at least two days per month I will have near contact with the buyers. Time will tell if I will make money out of this and if it will be enough to cover the costs of the boutique. I know I will do my very best to make it a success, nothing more I can do really.

A stroll through the garden

Midsummer, that's what they say it is right now. But to be honest...... it doesn't really feel like that. With temperatures reaching no higher than 10 degrees celsius it seems more like early spring to me. Nevertheless the garden is developing into a colorful painting which I most certainly enjoy to the fullest. Even the veggies which I sowed are all showing their little heads above the soil, so it means we can at least eat fresh carrots, beets and salads this year. For now I will stop talking and show you what beauties I found in my little piece of paradise. Couldn't help myself, having a decent camera means you have to put it to good use........

 Beautiful Lilac

A bunch of wild flowers

Our Idea of creative gardening

No idea what, but beautiful it is

Cowslip in it's various color stages

         

Buttercup with feeding bugs

Wild Strawberry blossom

A special kind of Daffodil

And of course there are always a couple of other beauties roaming the garden, always looking for a place to lie down and rest after their obligatory mousehunt. 

Karel the Great

Eddie the Dark

To love is to let go

That's what I have learned over the years anyway. But in the case of being a teacher and having the same class for three years it must be incredibly difficult to let go. Last week my oldest daughter Annalena graduated from sixth grade. A bit of a special moment, where you realise your little girl is no longer a little girl.  She has had the most wonderful teacher a child could wish for or a parent could wish for his/her child. His name is Gunnar Albinsson.  A teacher who always saw the possibilities in a child, the positive and always worked to bring out the best in every child. And he was good at it as well. A teacher with humor but who could also be strict when needed. And his class followed his every lead. He always said they were the most wonderful bunch of kids. It even came to be that he put his class to work and was about to do some work of his own which included cutting paper with scissors, but he actually was afraid to use the scissors because it made to much noise and it would disturb his students in their work, so he just didn't.  I guess this has been an ideal combination of teacher and class. And my daughter was fortunate enough to end up in this class when we moved to this country, this village.
Now my not so little anymore daughter is going yet another step further, going to school in the city next year. So even for me it's time to let go a little more. But thanks to this wonderful teacher I feel confident that she'll manage.
A teacher like that needs to be given a special goodbye present, so me and the other classmom juggled a little with ideas and we came to a combination of both his passions. He liked playing golf, and was intending to do much more of that after retirement and he has a passion for beer, not the kind you drink on festivals, but real beer. So we got him a giftcard to Oppigårds brewery, one of the absolut best breweries around, where he can have dinner and a tour through the brewery and taste the beers they brew. The link to his golfpassion was done in an entirely different manner. I was provided with a wooden plank, took my woodburners, went to school and asked all the kids in his class to write their name with a pencil and then burn it into the plank. After that I searched for some pictures of golfers to use to burn into the plank as well and a picture of a golf course. I set to work and this was the end result.

But I wasn't finished. My daughter had asked already a while ago if i couldn't make an Angel for her as a present just from her to her teacher. Of course I could not refuse that request. She set out to find out what his favorite colors were and  I made the Angel she wanted.  

In the days running up to the yearclosing ceremony we noticed the tension in our daughter was growing, up to the point where she finally burst into tears. The idea of her class being torn apart and having to say goodbye to so many of her friends and her teacher was too much for her at that point. She knows it's a part of life, letting go, saying goodbye and she had done it before, but that doesn't make it easier.

                                                                                                       

Finally the day came and a beautiful ceremony it was in the church, They sang beautifully and finally got their certificates. I was taking pictures and looking through my lense it was like I was looking in the mirror, only 30 years back in time. Zooming in on her face,  I was shocked to see how much my Annalena looked like me. One doesn't really pay attention to it in normal daily life, but at that moment in time, zoomed in, it really struck me. 

Mirror to my past.

Afterwards there was this special little goodbye with the flagpole where the kids handed over the presents and a few more pictures were taken. After that it was down to the Hembygdsgården for a picknick with almost the whole class and Gunnar. We were very lucky with the weather and had a very cosy picknick before every said their last goodbyes and went home. 

Summer holidays have started, the time to let go is over, time to look forward to a new future. And thanks to wonderful Gunnar we have full confidence that she will thrive and do well at her new school. 

I just would like to say one thing to Gunnar, something he used to say to Annalena on her development assessment , only he used it in future tense, I'd like to use present tense. 

Gunnar, don't ever stop being who you are, it's the best you could ever be. 

Winds of change

No, I don't mean the renowned Scorpions song.
But changes are taking place all over my life at the moment.
One major change is that I am out of a job. Not that I am sad about  it. I am sensing a feeling a freedom, not having to go back to a job that I have hated from the day I started. A job I felt was utterly useless. To me that is, definitely not for the people I "serviced". They were all very satisfied with my work and even recommended me to others. No complaint has ever come from my clients. It's just that I would have expected more appreciation from my employer.
A job that was bad for my physical health and even for my mental health. Being diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in my hands and finger joints, having to go around cleaning all day, including wringing, scrubbing, scraping, lifting and squeezing is not an ideal situation. That's the physical part. Mentally I felt doing this day in day out was dragging me down. Not in a sense of feeling less than someone else, but feeling sort of worthless because I knew I had so much more in me, All these capacities and all the experience I had build up in my years in the Dutch police force were going to waste, with me not being able to use them in a job that made sense to me, a job I felt had meaning. Because that is very important to me.  I just couldn't see the meaning in the work I was doing. It made me feel horrible.

So I ended up sitting home on sick leave, both for the physical and the mental part ( which had a little more attached than just the job part though ). And during the year that I have been at home, my employer was so kind to call ONCE, that's right, just once to ask how I was doing. Not very motivating to go back, I can assure you. I even applied for an office job when I found out there was an opening at the office (through external channels, cause they didn't tell me) Of course, I didn't get the job. Neither did I get it the second time there was an opening, because when I found out about that, it was already to late. All in all this made me feel that I was no longer welcome and it made me decide that it was time to take matters into my own hands. Since I am feeling better mentally and I can do other work there is no need for me to be on sick leave any longer. Which the Försäkringskassan ( the authority that pays my sickness benefits) fully agrees with. In a meeting with all three parties present, plus my doctor, it was decided that my contract would be ended by the first of june with mutual consent.
And although I have been looking and applying for jobs for as long as I have been living in Sweden ( more on that in a separate post), I did not manage to find something else...... yet. This means of course that I will be subjected to rules and regulations of the unemployment agency (Arbetsförmedlingen) to be able to get my unemployment benefits. This will not be easy and I'm probably going to have to bite my tongue quite a number of times, but all is better than going back to something you hate and I refuse to give up.
A little bit of luck I already had. Through one of my choir friends I embarked in the world of personal assistants. Meaning that I work two 12 hour nights per month as a personal assistant. And I am glad to tell you that it is giving me an awful lot more satisfaction compared to my previous job. It isn't easy, but it has so much more meaning.

Another major change is the fact that hubby Ron did manage to get a job. A fulltime job that is. And even though it is only a seasonal job, it means so much to him. He finally feels he is contributing and taking care of his family. No longer having the feeling that he is utterly useless and living at my expense. After being unemployed since we got here, without any benefits he was starting to give up hope. He became a bit of a "sourpuss" as we call it. A bit of a younger aged Walter ( if you know Jeff Dunham you know what I am talking about).

 But now he gets to do what he loves, gardening,  and gets paid for it. He even got some nice colleagues he gets along with. It's a win win situation. He feels good, I feel good the whole family feels good.

Cause let's face it, if one feels unhappy it does affect all the others in the family as well. So my Walter is more or less turning into a happy Peanut again.

And then of course there is the seasonal change. It never ceases to amaze me, how the world transforms when winter turns to spring. When life returns in all that lives, including ourselves. As much as I love winter with its magnificent landscapes and its serene silence, it is always a joy to see life returning.

From this.........

To this...

When the first snowdrop lifts its head above the melting snow, when the first birds return from their winter hide outs, when sap streams in trees start to go upwards again, with that the returning of the many different shades of green to the landscape. The season of growth has arrived and with it our growing desire to finally be able to start with our vegetable- and fruit garden. Fruit trees have been bought and planted,  Cherry and prunes. Organic seed purchased and waiting to be sown. Ron is working hard to get the plant beds in order.

We share a part of our seeds with my parents and dad is sowing the vulnerable veggies, that are to planted outside later, at their place, where there is more room. I can't wait to start sowing and then watch things grow, knowing that after the harvest we will have a well stocked food cellar. But I am getting a head of things now.
Let's enjoy this lovely season of new beginnings first.

And for old times sake I'll leave you with the Scorpions anyway.